My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
why is half of my head shaved?
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