eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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