i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
