Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The power of my boobs compel you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
