How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize