Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
