Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
