I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
