Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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