My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
