dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize