I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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