just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
