In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
