the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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