i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
