Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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