idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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