sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
