I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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