worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize