But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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