Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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