her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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