I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Randomize
