doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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