Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
