i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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