Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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