i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
