ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
