Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
