last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
sex on a bike is impossible
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it