:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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