I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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