Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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