Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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