there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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