yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
