wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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