remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
