At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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