I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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