yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
