If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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