Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize