the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
