I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
