my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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