THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
