Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
