That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
