Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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