just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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