I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
