Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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