girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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