you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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