and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I want to be your penis for a week.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
