Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
