at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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