I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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