I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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